Last night I was as happy as never before and fell asleep with a huge smile on my face. I woke up and went to work with a big smile, convinced I was not going to be affected of the argue I had with a coworker last Friday. I was so wrong. As soon as I stepped in through the door my big smile was gone. It was the worst day of work in my life. Except for the one when I was going to cook sausage and macaroni to like 100 something kids (2 kindergartens) all by myself.
It was raining when I went to work around 8.50 am. it didn’t kill my mood though I was happy to be able to go by bike. the rain was not to much and I was a little wet but nothing all that bad. (Nothing compared to Ethiopia!) Since it was so grey and rainy we kept the kids inside which was awefull. The kids fought, bit and hit each other. They were very loud and most of them not very good listeners. At one stage I was all alone trying to watch the 15 kids we had there today, only one missing. It was hard. You cant keep your eyes on everybody, change diapers, getting puzzles out, read and comfort the crying kids at the same time! The 10 minutes felt like forever.
Except for one of my coworkers, we were all grupmy. The adults were admonishing, yelling and comforting on top of the tension I felt between the other 2 and I. I felt like sitting down to cry in a corner some of the time and I prayed more than once for God to help me not to be mad at the others. As soon as I heard one of the others voice I got so frustrated. It feels like she’s having a competition with me of who are most popular with the kids. Her voice sounds so artificial and false in my ears. She doesn’t talk to me neither, always talking to the other coworkers. It also makes me mad because that’s probably not the case at all.. But I can’t help but feeling like the other 2 are making a team against me, I know it’s silly but I don’t feel comfortable at all!
If it’s this bad tomorrow too I’ll have to talk about it with them. I can’t go on feeling like this. It’s only 17 days left there (4 weeks including this one) but one of them, one of the others gonna be gone for vacation and I’ll take her 75% instead and I’m not even sure they’ll put in someone to cover my 50%.. It’s gonna be awful. Maybe I’m just stressed since I’m working so much but it just can’t be that I’m imagine all of those things and feelings.. I hope for a better day tomorrow. I’ll call Emma soon and then probably I’ll go to take a nap.
Here’s a song for all of you who have your heart broken btw. I heard it this morning on my ipod and felt bad for all the ones who’ve gotten dumped. I remember how it felt just like this. Did only find live versions, I guess it’ll do.
